Well, let me tell my story about what�s been on my mind.
In my last diary entry- I mentioned Stephen and how I had gone out on my second date with him. Well since that day- we went out on our third and fourth date� let me paraphrase here�.

On our third date he came and met me and we went out for sushi,, we had good conversation, and had a really good time. We flirt and joke, and he teases me that I talk too much. We end up back at my apartment, cuddling on the couch and watching the movie �Fast times at Ridgemont high� and making out. Things got a little intense, kissing for about 20 min�he ended up on top of me and we were pressing our bodies together, making each other horny. I looked up and asked him if I was being mean to him by making him horny. I told him that I wanted him, but that I was scared. We keep making out and watching TV. - until we get sleepy. I asked hi If he wanted to come to bed with me. He said yeah.
We end up just doling each other a (how do I a say this) AHEM� Mutual -FAVOR-- and then falling asleep� No sex. And that was fine, because I didn�t really feel ready for it.

Now this weekend we were going to have our fourth date. I jokingly told him on thursday that he should bring his pajamas to my house this weekend because we were gonna have a "slumber party" ( and everybody knows what that means) He was feeling sick with a cold, he had a runny nose and was kind of drugged up on NYQUIL. But I never get sick, and I didn�t really care.. I just wanted to see him. We went to BJ�s� and it was pouring rain outside. We sit waiting for a table in the waiting area, and we are so close to each other. Dinner was really good, This was one of the first times that I felt like he opened up to me a bit more about his past relationships- something he hasn�t really brought up before. (he mentioned he thought his previous EX might have some lesbian tendencies- and that�s what broke -them up.) We had a conversation about STD�s and I jokingly added that � hey FYI- I�m not seeing anyone else- besides you. � I told him seriously that I don�t play those kind of games in a relationship. Even thought he revealed some crazy stuff about his past- I was glad that he was opening up. We left the restaurant and this time when we got out of my car in the parking lot, he told me that he wasn�t feeling good, and was going to go home. I pouted a little bit and told him that I just wanted to cuddle with him a little bit. He said ok and we ended up hanging out for about 20 min until he left. We didn�t even really kiss. He kept saying he didn�t want to get me sick. I stuck out my bottom lip some more , but it didn�t work- he still went home. Basically I was home alone on a Saturday night by 10 pm.

So anyway here�s my deal�.. I�ve been repeating this story to a few male friends of mine, and they told me that ANY warm blooded male, would have been all over me by now- except for the ones from UTAH, the GAY ones or one more kind�
Basically they said he might have a girlie on the side. And to put it exactly how they put it�.� he doesn�t want to come home to his girlfriend smelling like your pussy� (terrible huh?) Or they said �he doesn�t really like you then�. because -ANY warm blooded male, would have been picking up on my clues and would have wanted to DO IT with me already..
So I�m being really cautious and thinking this over in my mind, and its making me feel really insecure. I don�t know what to do.. I mean to be really grown up, I guess I should just have a candid conversation and ask him straight out.. Are you seeing anyone else besides me? And hope that I can read his body language from his answer.
Part of me says.. �Hey- If he didn�t like you, he wouldn�t bother still taking you out if all he wanted was a piece of ass�� And the other DEVIL part of me says� he doesn�t think your ass is really cute enough for him- and he doesn�t want you�
Blah- I don�t think he�s that shy around girls though� He�s told me that he was not shy.. So what�s the deal?
Of course I will keep you informed� stay tuned�.

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