Well diary, I didn�t update this week because I�ve been a busy girl.

On Monday night Stephen asked me if I wanted to get together on Wednesday. I said � why -what is Wednesday?� and he said �oh its nothing, just the middle of the work week�

I knew full well that this Wednesday the 9th, was Stephen Ryan�s 27th birthday, and I thought that maybe he was trying to see if I remembered that it was.

On Wednesday he and I meet up at my apartment at about 7:30pm and we kiss for a second at the door. Then we decide to go get something to eat at the Gordon Biersch. It is a brewery out in Mission Valley. We cant get a table right away, so we get one of those buzzer /pager thingies. We walked around in the outside bar area, to see if a table opened up, and he ran into a girl named Jessica that his friend used to sleep with. She gave me one look up and down and immediately my hand went up to my mouth as if to chew on my nails. I don�t know why but it immediately made me nervous about my outfit and everything I was doing.

We were outside talking for about 20 minutes, and I sort of get an impression that I make him nervous. His body language is very stand offish. He will always be standing about 3 feet away from me. At one point I made a joke about the fact that he had a dress shirt with snaps on it. I said� what�s up with the snaps? Is it so I can have easy access to your chest?� I reached over and hooked my finger into the crook of his shirt at his neck, and he stepped back. After that I was really confused, I mean he had kissed me at my door, and now he was taking a step back.

So I pulled out of my purse some breath strips, Just in case.. (Ha you never know,, maybe its my breath.??!?)

We got a table inside and sat down and ordered some beers. The waitress checked our ID�s and I told he that today was his birthday.. We both ordered a blonde bock- and it was so good. Very smooth. I ordered a tomato and basil pizza and he got some chicken fettuccini alfredo. All of the food was soo tasty. I got a buzz of only a few sips of my beer, and I told him that. We both tried some of each others food. We were sort of wrapping up our meals, and the waitress brings around the corner a piece of chocolate cake with one tiny pink candle on it. I just started laughing. Then he looked over at it and said� oh no- Did you tell her to bring that out?� I said no- I guess she did it because I mentioned earlier that it was your birthday, when she checked our drivers license�s.

He blew out the candle really quick and I asked him if he had made a wish, and he made a face and said sarcastically � I totally forgot!� So we relit it from the small candle on our table. And he placed it back into the slice of cake. Then he clasped his hands together like he was wishing super hard and squinted his eyes. I started giggling and said � I wish for a blow job-I wish for a blow job!� haha I�m such a brat. Then he said � oh your going to help me eat this right?� and I said oh- I was planning on it. A few minutes later the waitress brought out the check, and I snatched it off of the table. He asked me what I was doing and I said� I�m gonna get it- after all its not MY birthday-� and he said �well-thank you.�

We finished our meal and walked out to my car. We got back to my house and laid down on the couch, but this time we left the TV off and just laid there talking ,kissing and cuddling. Things got a little hot- We were laying down on the couch and at one point he said Its getting late- I need to be getting home. I said no please stay another minute, and then before I knew it- he and I were pressed together, him on top and I was squirming a little underneath him and moaning. I got really horny there for a second. But its weird- Its like I cant even push his sexual buttons to get him to put his hands on me. He never even tried to touch my breasts. I�m afraid to ask him what�s up with the situation though. Maybe he needs a stronger signal from me that its ok to touch.

He mentioned after a few minutes of that stuff that it was getting late again. He did look very tired. Then he got himself together and left shortly after that.

He had mentioned in the middle of our making out session that a guy he works with named Huff asked him after I left there office the other day � Hey dude- do you and Arian have something going on.?� Steve told me that he told him that he said we didn�t. I said well � if Huff asked you that question then there�s obviously some vibe that the 2 of us are giving off that says we like each other.

I don�t know. In some ways I want the world to know when I like someone that we are together, but in other ways there�s that little devil saying � what if it doesn�t work out? Then I won�t want anyone to know I talked to him- let alone kissed him. �

I am definitely not ready to have people at work laughing and making comments about us - that�s for sure.

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