Its just really sad.

I have had a bad day as usual, Ive got a bladder infection beginning to rage, and thats always a party.

Of course theres the usual guy problems. Today Sam basically Left the house, made plans to go out to dinner with his brother and his friend, and decided to stay out all night drinking. I guess he really doesnt want to spend and time with me, especially since he's only here for 2 more days.

He doesnt even know Im sick, because we dont talk.

I feel so lame and ugly. Im the most boring girlfriend ever because he never even wants to have sex this whole trip. It just makes me want to embrace ANA - which is much harder--- than bulemia ,and being so tired and run down gives me a high.

Its as though im as tired and sad as I feel on the inside as I am on the outside.

Didnt eat any thing but a Jello today. No breakfast or dinner.

Whats really pathetic is that i dont have any friends i can talk to.. Everyone is gone or busy. My sister was gone to a friends house to play cards, and I called Allie, she's not home either. My best friend Rach has her Husband getting out of the hospital today; and she's unreachable.

Its super pathetic that; All i have is ANA and my thoughts to keep me company. Not real people or friends, And certainly not a boyfriend.

At least i can watch BLOW OUT on Bravo!. There's something to live for!

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