Nothing too exciting going on today, Got some blood work drawn at medical for my 5 year physical, and training today at work. It was hot as shit all day long, and I�m still feeling really high and disattached from reality. Its kind of fun though. Hah! I definitely have no appetite, and cannot sleep. I was staring at the clock at 1 am last night.

The guys at work told me today that I am the nicest girl that they have ever worked with there. They said i always seem to be in a good mood. Well I�m feeling 100 times better today and yesterday too. We�ve been busting up and cracking jokes. The last couple of chicks were really stuck up bitches that wouldn�t ever take orders from a guy. Even if they out ranked her.

Logan the stalker has been stalking me really bad. I think he came by the office 10 times today. He's been in the habit of actually peeking around the corner of the door with one eye on me. Yesterday he scared the crap out of me. Santos said that he bugs the shit out of him and he thinks he's a jackass. Har. So today i spied on Logan and I caught him licking an ice cream cone like a dick and I laughed, because he was talking to his LPO (who is a big gay guy) and licking it suggestively. I started laughing, and pointed at him and he was all embarrassed. Hilarious

I started to take my meds again. I take Paxil, which works like Serotonin, to make my brain feel normal. But, they make me all nauseated and blur my vision a bit. At least after taking them for a while I feel happy again, and I can go to the grocery store without freaking out.

So I started taking them this week, and I have a hard time seeing small print clearly unless its 3 inches from my eye. I�m also pretty loopy all the time, but at least I am relatively happy and in a good mood. Even though I�m blind.

What�s really sad is I have always dreamed of being able to travel to Japan too and i am passing up on a perfectly good opportunity, by being all scared and saying i dont think i can go.

You know what�s crazy? I had a dream last night that the EXboyfriend Jared came back and I cheated on Sam with him in my dream. He was really pressuring me to leave Sam, and then He gave me a gold ring to wear around my chain on my neck. I was having a hard time getting that ring off my neck so Sam wouldnt see it. Then I was going to try to figure out how to hide the whole thing from Sam, and what i was going to Say, and how i was going to have to hide it..ETC I was really STRESSED in my dream.

So weird, I will have to look it up in my dream book and figure out what all that means.

I guess I�m going to have to move out of my apartment by the time September rolls around. I�m going to miss my old place. I really hate moving anyway. So now I am stuck either having to find a new apartment, or buy a condo, and that is taking a lot of work. It seems as though I have to take some time off of work, just to be able to look at places.

Petra called me the other day and until right this moment... I have totally forgotten to call her back. I am the worst friend ever. See I told you that I am spacy.

Sam told me that he played pool with Gabrielson and Eddy the other day, and he told me that the 2 guys said to say hello to me. I feel bad that all the guys are lonely and depressed over there in Japan. Hopefully they will all come home soon.

I even talked to my old friend Sola the other day and she told me she was working at a Sharp hospital up in Orange county now. She interns for the pharmacy dept. I guess she really likes it. I try to keep her up on the gossip.

Well not too much going on here, its just hot as shit, and I am tired of being at work.

Well i guess results are coming out this week for the test. I'm 98% sure i didnt make it, from looking at the Bupers. So i guess Sam loses the bet he made with me that i would make it this time- and he owes me a meal. SUCKA! Since i am high off of my drugs, i really dont care too much about not making rank.. Its such a fake high though.

I can tell that im a little mad underneath. stupidest girl in the world.

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