I am so glad that its friday. I just want to lounge around and do nothing. Especially since i hurt my back, its probably a pinched nerve. I cant turn my head to check my blindspot,or the pain shoots up and down my whole right side.

Hunter has been weird this week. Everytime we do homework, and he messes up a letter, like a B instead of a D-he throws himself on the floor and says he's going to kill himself -because he hates homework so much. Its making me hate homework. And its 2nd grade homework! I hate trying to be a psychiatrist everytime we sit down to work on it. It should take 15 min and it took 2 hours the other night.

Oh he lost his first baby tooth last week at school, and then lost the tooth somewhere. I think he was showing it off, anyhow, his dad said that without a tooth, the tooth fairy doesnt leave money. Hunter was trying not to cry!What an asshole! So i told Hunter if we leave the tooth fairy a note explaining what happened, and i put a picture of his jack o lantern smile under his pillow- then he should probably get some money. I wonder what is the going rate for baby teeth now. I used to get a dollar- hmm maybe I will leave a 5$ dollar bill for him.

Speaking of the Ex husband- I filed a small claims court case against him for 4861$-the unpaid child support. Back in October 2001- the amount was 433.00$ we went to court that month because he wanted to pay less money, and they gave him more visitation, and lowered his payments to 164.00$ He has never paid since. So basically its 433.00 plus 164.00 multiply that times 27 months he hasn't paid. our court date is 26th of Feb. I have the feeling he's going to be mad- but oh well. I sure could use the money. I would like to have my own washer and dryer, but we will see.

Im not as depressed as i was on monday, my boyfriend Sam came back from sea yesterday and we talked. I told him all about being tired of everything and i wanted things to be like they were. I realize its not fair that he's going to Japan and he is depressed. Thats why he's just drowning in his video games.

I told him that he was lucky that he wasnt here all week because I wanted to break up with him, I was in such a foul mood. He couldnt believe it. He asked if he could come over, and he NEVER comes over.

He brought over a new version of the SIMS for Hunter- the Vacation. Hunter wanted to load it- but he left a disk at his house, so we couldnt. It was really sweet of him though.

Sam and I lay on the couch and talked, I told him that I was scared to talk to him and tell him how i was feeling. I have a hard time opening up and making myself vulnerable. I was afraid i was the only one who cared that the relationship was falling apart. I told him that it hurt me that he never really KISSES me anymore. He told me that he was sorry- he was being stupid.

Later we went upstairs to go to bed, and we were kneeling on the bed looking at each other and he told me that he loved me. I wasnt even sure I heard him right,and i said "what?" so he repeated himself, "I love you -honey you are my best friend." all i could say was "really?" i wasnt expecting him to say that- at all. I told him that I loved him too and I would be good while he was away. He told me that he knew I would be good.

It seems like everything is better now. I fell asleep in the crook of his arm. It felt good to have talked everything out.

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