I get really frustrated when I have the whole weekend off and I don�t do anything .I spent the entire weekend at the boyfriend�s house accomplishing nothing.

So bear with me while I go off about him for a minute.

I systematically go around the house and pick up garbage; old soda cans, dirty dishes and clean them up. Sam never says thank you anymore. He says-�that�s what a girl is supposed to do.� and then says oh I�m just kidding. Whenever I complain I�m bored, he will say-� the kitchen isn�t clean yet-haha� and I don�t even live there.

He�s in this mode where he only gets up off of his butt to get a soda out of the fridge, and he wont even bother to bring his empty can in the kitchen and throw it away, even though he�s right there. The only other time he leaves the computer is to go pee. He basically doesn�t even speak to me anymore, and I will be over there for hours, even days.

One day last week I was sitting in the dark out in his living room crying because I feel so alone. He finally came out to see what was going on, and I just pretended I wasn�t feeling well, and just went to sleep. There�s a difference between being ALONE, and being LONELY, but sometimes it feels like the same thing to me.

The sad thing about it is that I�ve been hinting around about how I�m not happy, how I feel like he�s been treating me like I�m not really important anymore. I broke down and cried in front of him on Saturday, and I said- I don�t even think you are going to miss me when you are gone to Japan- and he said �I miss you when you are gone for a day, and you are my best friend� I told him that was the first time he had ever told me that. And we�ve been together 5 months now. But 4 minutes later he was back playing his computer games again. As a matter of fact he puts his games on auto play so that they can play themselves at night while he�s asleep.

I�ve been complaining in other entries about how he is getting too comfortable around me with the farting, and I sincerely believe that he doesn�t even realize that I am inches away from just saying forget it all and breaking up with him. I don�t want to wait 6-8 months for him to come back from Japan , when he�s just going to take me for granted the whole time, and things will be just like they are now when he comes back .I just feel like I�m going to scream I cant take it any more.

I would die if he read this, but I just can�t talk to him about it. I just don�t even want to talk to him anymore.

I will keep the diary updated, but I don�t think I�m answering the phone much. He probably wont even notice.

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