well another day i spent ruining something...

Rob seemed like he didnt want to hang out again... and yeah im feeling a little stupid... i guess i feel to dumb to keep him happy and he would rather clean house... or whatever... i mean pretty soon ill be too busy with work to do anything with him... and i will be out to sea all week... so i told him to call me later... but i figured he wouldnt even call or put me off as usual...

so im talking to kelly on the phone...and were laughing and catching up... and he calls on the phone... and i told him i would call him back later after i was off.

well the next thing i know...he's at the door.. and i get off the phone with kelly...and he looks pissed off. not happy to be here...

and i ask him" whats wrong .. you seem like your in a bad mood.?" he says he's not but....

he came over to talk...and immediately i get all hot and a nasty feeling in my stomach .... and im sitting next to him and so i go to touch him on the knee and he jerks away and goes dont....

basically he wanted to hash out the ex boyfriend thing again..and i just groaned.. i though we had this conversation out plenty last night...and i told him i promise i wouldnt bring them up again.. and i dont understand what he wants from me... and i told him that this isnt really a big deal.. these are the things that people go through in brand new relationships... feeling each other out and learning what ticks each other off...

he seems to think that i want a boyfriend i can lead around like a puppy dog...even though ive never treated him like that.. just because i made a joke to a friend of mine.. that " i needed a nerdy boyfriend of my own.." he some how took that to mean that i was going to treat him like shit...

so he basically said that he just wants to take a step back.. and just be friends...and learn more about each other... and the only thing is that im thinking is that were already sleeping together!... the only reason we are having this problem is because we are both jealous AND fresh out of relationships.

it just makes me mad... because i feel like he doesnt trust my word.. or that he doesnt care enough to try....

so i dont even know what im thinking now....and i feel like nothing i say is going to change his mind...and i told him.. "i think it doesnt really matter what i want because you have your mind all made up yesterday" and hes like what do you want? and im like " i want to be with you...." but the look on his face is like he's not hearing me....

so he looks over at me and goes "are you o.k? because you are shaking really bad..." and all i can think is that he doesnt care.... and i dont even want to look at him....

im at the point now that i should just forget about him....it will make it so much easier before he wants to dump my ass after months of dating.... i dont know what to think... getting dumped after only 1 month is a brand new record for me...

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