Why cant i have regular nightmares like everyone else?I had a night mare the other day and it was about never being able to hold hands.. it was like everyone was allergic to holding hands but only with me .. and i awoke with a start..and in a cold sweat...!!!

But i immediately started thinking that it had been a long time since ive walked down the street with my hand being held.

In fact i cant remember the last time... i held hands with Rob(dreadlock,massage therapist with good hands) in the movie theatre on a couple of occasions,, and it was really foriegn to me... sometimes something like that is more intimate than kissing...like slow dancing.. i have a problem with that,, i still cant stand to do it.. its because its so lose to someone else and your like "am i sweaty?" am i gonna step on the other persons toes..

But this whole thinking is backwards,,i mean..people have no problem keeping thier cool when they are hugging or having sex?!!? but holding hands? and we get all nervous..

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