well i was pretty mad last night that being out to sea at this moment the internet was not working and i couldnt write anything,,,and we had to work till 7:30 at night and then the only free time we had it wasnt working.. bummer.so i went to bed at like 800 and read a book. Mayfield isnt here to fix the internet so i have a feeling that this is gonna be a long underway,, longer than 8 days....or feel like it anyway,,

Well i was gonna write about this dream i had this weekend....i have been thinking a lot about going to the war... and i had this dream that i was fighting the Iraqis in the civil war in the desert... and i was a medical person and all the sudden our caravan of 20 people got ambushed by 300 Iraqis on horses with guns. some of us got shot, and we were really outnumbered..and arguing about how to take care of some of the patients so we could get the hell out of there....then all of the sudden the U.S marines came charging over the hill on horses to save us with their swords and bayonettes. an we all cheered "yah USA USA! "

I sort of have these guilt feelings about friends of mine (like jared, and todd and cody)fighting the war and putting themselves in danger all the time for me......and all of the other people who have to sacrifice their relationships and family life for all of these chickens who never would be brave enough to risk their lives and their number one priorities are partying and doing drugs.. They say that the chances get greater everyday that we will go out to west pack..and i feel like its my time to go...and that i want to experience it too...but im scared at the same time that like in my dream.. im way out of my element and im just not cutting it so someone else has to save my butt..

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