Nothing too exciting going on here at work�. I just ate lunch with my friend Wardlaw.. Well his name is Everett but people in the navy always go by last names� so he�s Wardlaw to me�. I�ve never asked him what his friends call him though�.Hmmm..I wonder what it really is?

Well actually I walked to Subway by myself and then I turned around and Wardlaw was behind me with this other guy Hilburn- that I cannot stand! (On a side note- he came into my office once and announced all of these personal details about his sex life.. he�s a stud and he has to have lots of chicks walking through this revolving door of his to keep his sex drive /appeased or whatever) So anyway I think this guy is a big slime ball� because why would you walk into the office of some woman that you don�t know.. and tell her all about your sexual conquests? That�s nasty! Plus the military sort of frowns on people talking about Red-light stuff at work�.

So anyhow I start talking to Wardlaw- and he said he was going to sit down and eat with me. Hilburn and Wardlaw were going to share a chicken teriyaki foot long. But when Hilburn went to grab his half�.he dropped it..all down Wardlaw�s butt and down his legs�.hilarious�

Well because the Teriyaki sauce-stuff is sort of see through� it wasn�t a big huge disaster.. and Subway made Hilburn a free sandwich to replace the one that was laying on the floor. Wardlaw and I kept laughing and laughing like little kids.. So then Hilburn left us alone to eat by ourselves� I think he wanted to go- because H has a crush on me.. and I was ridiculing him by laughing at his clumsiness.. Hey ! Loser! Wardlaw was the one that had Sweet teriyaki all over his ass!

Wardlaw and I just talked aboout our vacations... and he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend.... Well actually she told him she was not going to be his girlfriend and she is going to be sleeping with other people... How SAD!

This other guy I work with Angel; had told me that Wardlaw has a crush on me� Well he thinks im cute and funny because they had a whole conversation about it on watch one night like 2 months ago. Wardlaw wanted to know who i was... If i had a boyfriend... ETC... But he knows now that I do have a boyfriend.... and we are friends now.. He stops by my office at least once a day... to chit - chat...

Its embarrassing to me ; that people get crushes on me!

Oh Angel told me he had a dream that he was making out with me...and now he said he was embarrased to tell me that....I figured he had that dream because I am the only girl that he ta;lks to other than his girlfriend on a regular basis...If you look it up in a dream dictionary...

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That dream means...:If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her.

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Funny huh?

Well My boyfriend finally wrote me today.... I havent gotten an email from him since Sunday.... I just feel sooo far away from him. I just dont feel that close to him anymore... But he seemed really depressed so maybe thats why he feels like he has nothing to write about.

One thing thats really pathetic is.. He made a comment when he was home " If you want some sex then you need to do something sexier" .... So the way I have translated that in my mind is..... He doesnt think I am sexy enough anymore.... Because theres something wrong with my looks.... So therefore its easier to be depressed about it.... And Its been really easy to be hardcore with my eating disorder this week. I barely ate anything on monday... and woke up feeling so empty.. It felt great.....But ive been puking all 2 weeks he has been gone... Its paying off though.... Yay!

Its amazing how i can channel one really negative comment to just take over and fuel my obsession.. and it works for weeks.... All i have to do is remember that comment and how it hurt me.. and i have no desire to eat......

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