I have nothing real to write about: other than this dream I had last night I guess.

Before I went to bed Hunter was asking me if I was ever getting married, and I think it was my last conscious thought. This is probably why I dreamed this�.but any way here it is�.

I dreamt that it was my wedding day and Sam and I were going to get married� I remember thinking that it was about an hour before.. Because everyone was running around trying to get last miniute stuff ready,, and I was already in my wedding dress. Suddenly Sam came up to me and told me� I changed my mind about getting married.� I asked him why and he said�� Because you play to many practical jokes like jumping out and yelling BOO! And scaring me�..and I just don�t know if I can trust you not to do that anymore�

The funny thing was I said� yeah your right� I do play a lot of practical jokes � and I realized I probably couldn�t stop; so that was going to be a problem in our marriage. So we didn�t get married and that was that.

I read in a dreamers dictionary that;

Seeing a marriage in your dream means commitment, harmony or transition. You will undergo an important developmental transitional phase. It may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. Dreaming of a proposal of marriage, suggests that some situation will take a turn for the worse. Dreaming that you are getting married to your ex, suggests that you have accepted aspects of that relationship and learned from those past mistakes. Alternatively, it means that a current relationship shares some commonality with your previous relationship with your ex. However, you will not make those same mistakes. ( i used to play the practical jokes a lot on my previus relationships..)

Dreaming that you are telling a joke indicates that you are not being taken seriously and as a result you are feeling frustrated. On the other hand, you may not be taking an issue seriously.

Yeah I always thought marriage was a JOKE!

No really.. it had me thinking all day about what I�m scared of�. Sam is coming home a week from today and I don�t really know how to act around him�. I haven�t seen him since March or something.. I know its only like 4 and a half months.. But I feel like I don�t know how to talk to him or act around him. I feel like I have to start all over. Kind of like a first date.

Maybe this is all stemming from the fact that I haven�t really talked to him in the past week and a half�. Or longer than that .. I don�t know exactly�.I think since the beginning of June we haven�t been able to talk more than 3 times.. that�s not very much. That�s when they got the regular phone disconnected in the shop , and he doesn�t get to call anymore�not like he was previously able too. But he started writing less�and then I don�t have anything to reply to.. And that goes on and on� I guess I haven�t written a real Email to him since Monday or maybe Sunday� I don�t know.. We are both slacking really.

I just don�t feel that close to him this week at all.

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