lame,,,

that the only intensity in my life is when i throw up lately...i sort of get off on the intensity of it...its like the only thing that is real...and everything else pales in comparison.

i need a hobby. well a DIFFERENT hobby.

Tonight was pizza night and we had butterscotch chocolate chip brownies also...This would be my hobby today...

I have been so worried about the possibility of being nekid in front of someone new... that i must do it.. and im up to 3 x's a day. being out in the middle of the ocean there isnt much else to do..

the only good part is that you can pretend you are always sea sick. rocking back and forth. hearing the waves crash.. thinking about a new boyfriend... i dont usually tell someone right off that i have bulimia.."hi my name is arian,, meet my best friend! her name is ED and she goes with me every where.." but this time i didnt seem to care.. i was like take me or leave me...and he seems to want to take me....

heres my bulimia haiku...

Slowly i open wide...

To let it out and you in....

Will you love me now?

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