today being my duty day, im stuck here in portland and it is so hot. I had the first 4 hour watch as petty officer of the watch ,so it was a little cooler. and first watch goes by fast because theres a lot to do.

So on my watch i see Robert pass by, quite a few times. and yeah that passes the time by too.too bad i have to be wearing my ugly sailor whites. so he tells me that hes going to be back after lunch and i tell him to come find me in my office. so im like "hmm i wonder if i should try to kiss him, or should i let him kiss me? -- does he want to kiss me at all ? probably not!" hmm

so sola is in the office and so is Cab. Robert comes down and im in my point loma hoodie, not in uniform for the first time hes ever seen me. Sola talks a lot of shit,, so Robert tackles her ass on the hard floor.it was quite funny.. she likes her hair pulled.I even took a picture.it should be ridiculous. I dont want to wrestle with him because hes strong..

So any who theres one point where we are over in gsk and we are pretty much alone. he looks over at me and it seems like he wants to kiss me as much as i wanted to kiss him. you know that look people get? i was so nervous though. and ww kissed. he has a nice soft mouth. good kisser too. but it got interuptted becase i heard someone coming down the stairs and i didnt want to get caught. so after a while when Cab left the office and it was just Sola , Rob and i ,so he scooped me up on his lap and we kissed some more.. sola was getting annoyed but i did not care. he asked me why did i seem nervous? i said you looking at me makes me nervous. and he said look at me... i want you to know that my word is my bond and you can trust me. i will never hurt you, and i know you have been through a lot lately , but i dont think you are all those bad things people warned me about you and.,, i want you to know i like you and i want to get to know more about you.

well obviously i havent had any kind of attention like that in a while... its so nice to have some one big and strong hold on to me..i feel so protected. and i do believe i can trust him. its just so hard to get my hopes up about him because i dont want to be wrong again this time.I really do like him a lot.. and its hard to admit it to myself. i just want to be with him more, and more.its odd to find such genuine honesty in a person. and he's cute ha ha.

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