well yesterday i had duty and was supposed to stay overnight...but once i figured Canales got bailed out of jail..i was sick to my stomach and shaking so i begged to go home and the section leader let me.

I just didnt really see myself able to sleep on board with him walking around.i know its going to be horrible on monday i can feel it already.

as for the rest of my day i went and watched my sis pick out dresses for the bridesmaids.well look at em anyway..i refused to try one on.. she was like"arian why dont you try one on.?"and i just shook my head. i mean the only reason that im not going on westpack is that im going to this sexual assault trial .and she replaced me with vanessa so she said why dont you try dresses on vanessa might flake out and in my head im like "no thanks."

i dont like coming in last place it feels like shit.especially to your own sister.. she should have thought it out better..its like she only needs a body in a blue dress and doesnt care if its me or anyone else off the street.

well i got home and i figured that i wasnt going to get a call from Nate (mr flake out on me twice last week.)

but he did call and he came over for a bit and we talked and hung out ,,he just wasnt in the mood for anything crazy and neither was i but we wanted to hang out..so when he left he looked me in the eye and said we should hang out tommorrow..so we kissed.te he he ,,, it was a good slow kiss! nummy. He didnt look so scared this time. Its amazing that a few brief moments can make the whole weekend seem positive.

I bet hes good in bed.

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