Hmm... yesterday was interesting... Sam came to muster with us being told he was going to recieve his NAM and then didnt get it- AGAIN. I was like oh shit- he's gonna be mad all day! I got out of work after only being there 15 min and was at home pondering what trouble I could get into for the day. Actually I was leaning twards bingeing/ purging and was going to do exactly that. I find that I do it alot more when im all alone at home. Im having serious body issues this week, and about to start abusing myself in that way.

Well Samuel called and he got off work like 5 hrs early too so he said come over. I went upstairs to change clothes, and he calls me back. He asks me if ive left the house yet, and I say no. Then he tells me to stay there because he's coming over. Now this is weird- because he NEVER comes over. As a matter of fact it was starting to get me all mad that he never does. We always stay at his house because he lives 5 min from work, whereas I live 30 min. So I guess sometimes it makes more sense. I broke down crying the other day and accused him of " not caring about me enough to drive 30 min out of his way for me." well after I cried, he held me and petted my head and said he didnt realize it was such a big deal to me.

So yesterday he shows up with some krispy kremes and some flowers. Boy, did that make me feel sort of like an asshole. I dont know why. There were some blue dendrobiums- one of my favorites and some white freesia. He's so special to me. We just laid around and fooled around on the couch and I just kept thinking how lucky I am to have him hold me close. There are way too many times i'm alone and wishing for some special attention.

We went to the mall and he bought a fountain that has a light you can change colors/ patterns. It looks like dry ice is always flowing out of it. I was sort of jealous. We walked around and had some lunch at Pat and Oscars.I love that place.

We came home and Had sex for the first time ever at my house in the 2 months weve been going out. It was making me laugh- because I had thrown such a big fit about it. Plus he kept looking at the mirrors I have on my wall and saying, "look at us-".

He's so special to me. I'm going to my work's holiday party at the U.S. Grant hotel tonight. Its going to be super fun. I've already got my hair done while im sitting here - and i'm looking forward to tonight.... except for one thing. I'm NOT going to have him there with me.

I wish guys weren't such buttheads about formal events and dancing. Im still going to have a good time, and i promise to post pictures...maybe tomorrow after the hangover is gone.... Ta Ta!

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