well yesterday was pretty cool...

i mean i got to see daredevil with Todd and it was pretty cool,,the theatre was packed.. and then i saw the news and it was the biggest opening in presidents weekend ever,,, and the previews for the HULK looked so good.

Todd & I had some good talks yesterday.. and his little canadian girlfriend is soo messed up over him i guess she makes comments everytime we hang out "OH YOUR HANGING OUT WITH THE GIRL"

jealousy= so ugly,...

yeah any way he finally said yesterday that he thought i was attractive ,, but we talked about anything happening between us and i said "you would freak out" and he laughed and said yeah probably.....he said "the only reason that you dont have anybody is because you refuse to go out".. and i said "oh yeah all my friend are attatched"...and "i could go out with sola but shes into bondage cubs..so its really not my scene...that and i meet about 90 % of guys off of the internet..."

Nate should be coming back from las vegas today and hope fully well make plans to get together this week. he seems pretty cool. im pretty hesitant to start anything with anybody because i might be leaving .. but he called the other day and said that now is no better time then to hang out with your friends ESPECIALLY if you are leaving... and then i remember my resoloution..to live for whats happening.. not the "?? what if???"shit.

and this brings me to the whole chad thingie.. i mean now its been a week since he was supposed to go with me to lunch and he still hasnt called.. this would remind me that if we were together how dissapointed i would be all the time..and let down good old todd said that i shouldnt even think about it hes a jerk.when i talk to him again im gonna tell him hes an ASS. i mean im still leaving and the clock is ticking..and thats the story with him.. im always FUCKING waiting! Oh also yesterday i started feeling like complete shit .. my whole body hurt and my stomach was turning ... then i remember thet i havent had a period in like 2 months which really sucks... ill go tommorrow and do a test..god cannot be this cruel to me ... i mean im not even with the guy who possibly got me preg.im sure he would be excited...hes really got nothing going on in his life.. hes a stupid recovering meth addict and he wants to get married.. and im like "um i think were going different places in our lives" and hes like "how so...?" i wouldnt even been seeing him for on and off like a year and a half if he hadnt been so damn good in bed...but i never commit to being the girlfriend.. most of the time i have him labeled as plan C in case plan A doesnt work out ya know..

fuck i need that test...

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